Pop culture will have you believe that there’s nothing sadder than a person who’s alone on Valentine’s Day. Screw the haters though, ‘cos settling in with a movie, a snack, and the one person who you can tolerate – yourself – is what love is all about. Check out these movies if you fit the bill.
1. Drop Dead Gorgeous
This 1999 black comedy mockumentary was slammed by critics at the time of its release, but has since become a cult classic. The film centres on an annual beauty pageant in small-town Minnesota that becomes murderously competitive.
2. Cruel Intentions
This film about two Machiavellian step-siblings competing for the virginity of a naive woman played by Reese Witherspoon used to be on TV all the damn time. It’s a romance-thriller mix that’s attained something of a cult status.
3. The Loved Ones
This lesser-known but critically acclaimed Australian horror film is about a seemingly shy high school girl who asks a boy to the dance. When he turns her down however, she kidnaps him and proceeds to torture him with the help of her father. Ah, young love.
4. Fatal Attraction
This 1987 film is still considered a classic, mostly thanks to Glenn Close’s performance as a psychopathic ex-girlfriend who will go to any lengths to get back at Michael Douglas’ character.
5. The One I Love
This fantasy-romance-thriller (it’s a lot, we know) features the talents of Mark Duplass, Elisabeth Moss. They play a couple who go on a retreat to fix their crumbling marriage, and have a pretty creepy experience during.
6. Crimson Peak
This gothic-horror love story is totally in line with Guillermo del Toro’s style and aesthetic, which basically means its gorgeously disturbing. The story follows a woman who marries a man (played by Tom Hiddleston) living in a haunted mansion.
7. Hot Shots!
How about a solid dose of slapstick comedy to drive away the loveless blues? This 1991 madcap offering stars Charlie Sheen, and hilariously parodies a whole host of popular action films such as Top Gun and Rambo.
8. Austin Powers in Goldmember
You can’t go wrong with any of the Austin Powers movies, if mindless laughs are what you’re looking for. The toothy spy with mojo for days travels not just the world, but even through time in an effort to foil the schemes of Dr. Evil (and get a shag or ten).
9. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
If you like parody movies, then this is the one to thank for taking it to the next level. Leslie Nielson is a legend (RIP), and his Naked Gun series portraying a bumbling police detective who’s accidentally lucky in love are still hysterical to this day.
10. Date Movie
From the folks who created Scary Movie, this film follows in the same footsteps, but parodies all the famous romantic movie tropes instead. t might not be high-brow cinema, but it is good to pass the time and laugh at love (‘cos otherwise we’ll cry).
Can you feel the love? Yeah, me neither!
