You became single recently. Immediately, following any break-up, there is a period of prolonged sadness and misery that can last anywhere between 24hrs – a lifetime. Symptoms of this period include, but are not limited to, self-doubt, self-pity and emotional strength resembling that of a wet towel dumped on the cold hard ground.
Depending on how the break took place i.e. who caused it, who was lazy, did someone cheat, is she bored etc., there will be a different degree of work required to get over that pesky-ex.
Let’s look at the scenario and likely countermeasures required to get back in action. A couple of things to watch out for include self-destructive behaviour including drinking. Mostly drinking. Everything else is a consequence of poor decisions made under the influence of alcohol. Additionally, positive influencers like gyms are also a common treatment for the pain of heartbreak.
Let’s look at the type and reason for breakups and how best to deal with them:
(1) You Broke Up With Her
This is the easiest one to deal with. Ideally, you would have broken up with her because she had some annoying qualities. Whenever you find yourself reminiscing of the good times, just remember why you took that decision in the first place and everything should mostly run as normal.
Go out with friends, dinners and such. Life feels like a blessing. Minimum gym time is required but keep going regularly to maintain muscle mass. Also, the gym is a great place to keep your confidence high and always have the opportunity to meet someone new with like-minded interests.
(2) It Was Mutual
Sometimes, when you both aren’t into it, you decide to call it quits even though things weren’t too bad. Like everything was vanilla ice cream. If that is the case, and the break-up was indeed mutual, chances are you and your ex will end on good terms. In such instances, you may find yourself wanting a bit of vanilla ice cream from time to time, if you know what I mean. In these cases, it is best to think of the long-term implications.
With an ex like this, the question to ask is how much are things going to change in six months. Such patterns prevent you from finding someone better suited for you. Mutual breakups often mean that things were “okay”. Okay is alright. Okay is basic. Okay is mediocre. This is not something anyone should want from a relationship.
So, if you feel like your relationship is a just ‘okay’ maybe it means you and your significant other are better off as friends. Try and avoid common friend groups and outings but other than that the world is your oyster. Make sure to go to the gym a couple of times a week, hard workouts are recommended.
(3) Cheaters Never Win & Winners Don’t Cheat
Monogamy is overrated when you’re young and many of us have strayed from the path of commitment and have been party to some adultery. As a general rule, cheating is bad. Cheating is bad, but it happens. It happens a lot. Let’s say either you cheated on her or she cheated on you. The pain, guilt and sadness are all-encompassing.
This form of heartache is particularly tough to get over and can, as we said earlier, even last a lifetime. I know of men today who still miss their high school girlfriends well into their late 30s. When you cheat, the game is forever skewed and no amount of repentance or punishment will make it alright.
Trust is like a vase, once it’s smashed, you can put all the pieces back but you can’t get rid of the cracks. Such fragmented relationships need to be forgotten and buried. Do remember that the next time you want to cheat.
Whether you’re cheated on, or you commit the deed – you will want to spend A LOT of time in the gym. I would also include high-intensity training, some kickboxing and even yoga. This is usually when you see hermit/gym rat-like behaviour leading to drastic transformations. I say, use any anger and fire to burn down all self-doubt.